Month: May 2018

You know what’s great about dark clouds?

Silver linings.

151 blog posts down – 214 more to go…

I learned a long time ago that suggesting relaxation to the wrong person could ignite a fury of biblical proportions. If you’ve never witnessed it, you could probably catch it in action on the Lifetime Movie Channel.

I don’t really get it. What’s so offensive about telling someone to relax? It’s just a word. And relaxing can actually be quite enjoyable. I highly recommend trying it if you have 5 minutes to spare.

I think that Glenn Frey & Jackson Browne said it best:

“Don’t let the sound of your own wheels
drive you crazy
Lighten up while you still can
don’t even try to understand
Just find a place to make your stand
and take it easy”

150 blog posts down – relax, only 215 more to go…

Think like there is no box.

Paint like there is no canvas.

Write like you bleed ink.

Live like there are no limits.

149 blog posts down – 216 more to go…

Some days are meant for blogging. Others are for basking in gratitude.

Thanks to all who serve.

148 blog posts down – 217 left to go…

Happiness is not an aspiration, it is an accumulation.

Make sure to grab some along the way.

Holding out for it can keep you from ever holding it at all.

147 blog posts down – 218 left to go…

What’s with all of these movie remakes? Is Hollywood trying insult to the viewing audience?

I mean, Overboard? Really? There was absolutely no need for a remake of the movie, Overboard.

The original was as good as it gets. And, that is a fact. I should know, because I saw Overboard at least 800 times.

Remakes, and even many sequels for that matter, are nothing but cop-outs – used by those who want to make the most amount of money by exerting the least amount of effort.

It’s as if Hollywood has sold out exhausted every ounce of originality it ever had.

And that is really pathetic considering that novel ideas are lurking everywhere – and in abundance.

Law and Order understands this. That show has been around since like before TV was invented. It has staying power because it never runs out of material. It simply rips story lines from the headlines – albeit while exaggerating and spinning them. Fortunately for Law and Order – yet sadly for society – there is never a shortage of lunatics.

If Hollywood is having trouble finding its imagination, it needs to take a lesson from Law and Order. It should open its eyes and allow art to start imitating life once again.

What is life anyway but an endless supply of material?

146 blog posts down – 219 left to go…

At this very minute of time, it is the oldest you’ve ever been and the youngest you’ll ever be.

By the same logic, because knowledge is cumulative, it is also the wisest you’ve ever been and the least informed you’ll ever be.

Seize the moment by doing something that seems brilliant in your youth and is sure to enlighten you as you age.

145 blog posts down – 220 left to go…

Humor is a serious topic.

Very serious.

Even more serious than humor itself is the compatiblity of humor.

I was once set up on a blind date with this guy named… Actually, I can’t remember his name so let’s just call him, Sherman.

The only thing Sherman and I had in common was that we both just so happened to have been single at the very same moment in time. Apparently, some people believe that this one commonality is all that is needed to make a perfect match.

Anyway, Sherman seemed to enjoy boasting about what a great sense of humor he possessed. “I’m the funniest guy you’ll ever meet.”

To prove it, he brought a whoopie cushion on our date.

Seriously.

A whoopie cushion.

He would squoosh that whoopie cushion and crack up like it was the funniest thing on the planet.

And it was – when I was 11.

But then I grew up and my sense of humor matured.

It’s not that whoopie cushions aren’t funny. It’s simply that, as an adult, I just never found them to be as funny as the real thing. I’m all about authenticity.

Anyway, following the whoopie cushion portion of the date (also known as dinner), we went to see the flick, Independence Day, starring Will Smith. The movie, which took place in the present day, was about a global attack by an extraterrestrial race.

Below is a picture from the movie, depicting an enormous alien mothership, that has one fourth the mass of the Moon, descending upon Earth – right before it had deployed thousands of alien fighter ships to destroy the planet.

Once the movie ended, and as the credits were still rolling, I turned to Sherman and asked the very same question I always ask after watching a totally unrealistic sci-fi movie, “was that a true story?”

People always laugh when I ask my standard post ridiculous sci-fi movie question.

But not Sherman. He seemed dumbfounded by my question – not to mention very worried for me. He responded, “Oh, no. That wasn’t a true story at all.”

As we walked along 3rd Avenue, he went on to explain, very methodically, that as far as he knew, there were no aliens on earth at this time, nor could he recall a monstrous alien spaceship ever descending upon New York City.

We never spoke again after that, and I have no idea what became of Sherman or his whoopie cushion.

Perhaps Carrie Fisher said it best in the movie, When Harry Met Sally (also not a true story) when she opined, “Everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor, but they couldn’t possibly all have good taste.”

While someone with bad taste can find happiness with someone possessing good taste, the same cannot be said about a sense of humor.

This is because humor is something that must be taken very seriously.

144 blog posts down – 221 left to go…

A few weeks ago, I started working on a research project.

My research led me to begin a separate, but related, research project.

The research on that project brought me to yet a third one.

I now find myself working on these three research projects simultaneously.

I am currently swimming in oceans of data.

I can’t get enough of it.

My computer is an endless stream of open tabs. I’m scared if I close them, I will never find the pages again – even though they are bookmarked.

I am way too busy opening new tabs to revisit previously bookmarked pages.

I can’t stop.

I am a data junkie.

If anyone can recommend any rehab centers, please email the links. I promise to keep them opened – indefinitely.

143 blog posts down – 222 left to go…

The end does not justify the means.

It never has. And it never will.

Saying so is merely a way of trying to excuse one’s own reprehensible behavior.

If YOU want to risk proceeding unethically or even illegally because YOU believe it will lead to some benevolent outcome, at least have the balls to own up to the conduct.

Hiding behind one’s own perceived eventuality, does not make him a martyr. It makes him weak and pathetic – in addition to corrupt.

The end will not justify your means, it will only emphasize your immorality.

“And that’s all I have to say about that.” – Forrest Gump

142 blog posts down – 223 left to go…

Last night I had the strangest dream.

I dreamt that I was working at IBM of all places.

And, of all things, on my desk sat a rotary phone.

Every time I tried to place a call, I would accidentally dial an incorrect digit – forcing me to start the process all over again.

It was infuriating.

Finally I had had enough. I walked into my bosses office and screamed, “Why the hell is IBM still using rotary phones in the year 2025?!?!”

Then I stormed out and started trading crypto from my cell.

It was a sign.

It was a sign to short conventional financial, media and even technology companies.

Not that I need to dream to see that the world is in a state of unprecedented transformation. For years now, I’ve been watching it unfold during my waking hours. I was just never able to pinpoint a date.

Until now.

Mark my words, by 2025 media, finance and tech will be completely unrecognizable.

It’s time for the long short – starting with Berkshire Hathaway. It’s loaded with enterprises of yesteryear that may or may not ever acclimate.

You can bank on change, but never on another’s ability to adapt to it.

141 blog posts down – 224 more to go…

Truth does not exist in the abstract.

There are no variations of truth. There are no degrees of truth. There are no types of truth.

There is only one truth.

There are no adjectives that can be used to describe truth. There is no “good” truth or “bad” truth. There is no “harsh” truth, “pretty” truth or “ugly” truth.

There is only truth.

That’s it.

Something is either truthful or it is not.

How people process truth is another story.

Some deny it.

Some color it.

Some hide from it.

Some run from it.

Some fight it.

While we may find creative ways to process it, there is no one who can ever escape the one truth.

140 blog posts down – only 225 remain…

Yesterday I had an epiphany that life is an endless stream of fine lines – things that are much more alike than they seem.

I have now come to the realization that there are just as many “thick lines”, or items which we may view as similar but in reality could not be more diametrically opposed.

These include:

hearing and listening;

sharing and giving;

winning and prevailing;

working and laboring;

ambition and ruthlessness;

building and amassing;

egotism and self-love;

dancing and moving;

protecting and smothering;

glowing and shining;

waiting and having patience;

and, of course, growing and aging.

I could probably go on and on.

But, I won’t.

For the true enlightenment comes not in listing or measuring lines, but rather in drawing them.

139 blog posts down – only 226 remain…

Today I came to the realization that life is an endless stream of fine lines.

There is the fine line between:

enough and complacency;

compassion and sacrifice;

freedom and protection;

humor and torment;

eccentricity and madness;

recklessness and fearlessness;

mediocrity and laziness;

laughing and crying;

stupid and clever (and on a related note, between number 10 and number 11);

aging and self-assurance;

And of course, there is the the fine line between fine lines and wrinkles.

Perhaps tomorrow we can explore thick lines.

138 blog posts down – only 227 remain…

I’ve decided that I would start my days with a wheatgrass shot along with a kale, mango, ginger, tumeric shake.

Guess what?

I feel groovy.

So groovy, in fact, that I started talking to lampposts.

“Hello, lamppost, what’cha knowin’?
I’ve come to watch your flowers growin’
Ain’t’cha got no rhymes for me?
Doot-in doo-doo, feelin’ groovy
Ba da da da da da da, feelin’ groovy” – Simon and Garfunkel

But the lampposts had no rhymes for me. Nor did they provide any inspiration whatsoever for a blog post.

But, I won’t let that deter me from blogging.

Nope. Gotta get to 365 – even if it means writing about minutia and uploading pictures of my breakfast. At least it’s not a cat.

Some may call it writer’s block, but this is what we at the Stoic Academy simply call, “phoning it in.”

137 blog posts down – 228 left to go…

“You Aren’t Wealthy Until You Have Something Money Can’t Buy.” – Garth Brooks

I guess that by the same token, you aren’t really poor unless you have something that money can’t fix.

136 blog posts down – 229 left to go…

Sometimes you need to hire assistance. Sometimes you are better off learning the necessary skills and doing what needs to be done on your own.

Hiring makes life easy – so long as you never run out of money. Otherwise, you will be left penniless and unskilled.

Doing it yourself requires a lot of time and effort.

A lot.

And it, too, comes with a price: sacrifice.

Either way, you always get what you pay for.

When you hire, you get time. When you do it yourself, you gain wisdom.

Spend wisely.

135 blog posts down – 230 left to go…

“Help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world” – Tears for Fears

What if less people wanted to rule the world and more wanted to enhance it?

What if?

134 blog posts down – 231 left to go…

Ah, Mother’s Day.

The day I get to be showered with love simply for teaching my children the lay of the land, such as:

• Big Macs are made with maggots. It’s true. Google it.
• Find yourself before you find your spouse.
• Eat your organic kale. You’ll thank me when you are 115.
• Remember, nearly every tragedy reported on the news can be traced to one thing: drugs. Don’t do drugs.
• Always keep your drink covered. Better yet, when at a bar, just drink from a sippy cup.
• Don’t waste time applying analogue solutions to a digital world.
• When people show you who they are, believe them.
• People lie – preserve the evidence.
• Dare to fail over and over and over again.
• Dream big. Venture bigger.

#StoicraisingStoics

133 blog posts down – 232 more to go…

I just read that 16% of US parents are banning their children from watching fairy tales.

Apparently, many find fault with the Prince for not obtaining Snow White’s consent before awakening her from a coma with a kiss – despite the fact that no tongue was involved. I’m confused. Didn’t he save her life? Isn’t it kind of like a really hot paramedic giving an unconscious woman mouth to mouth? Anyway, it’s not like any of the dwarfs stepped up to help her. Not even Doc. Just let that sink in.

Others parents are appalled that Cinderella had to do all of the cleaning. Perhaps it would have been less traumatic if Cinderella was given a Miracle Mop. Who knows. Meanwhile, I am much more concerned with Cinderella’s freakish shoe size. How is it that there was not one other woman in the entire village with the same size foot? Not one. I think someone is in urgent need of a podiatrist. But not Doc. If that’s even his real name.

Look parents, I get how emotionally scarring fairy tales can be.

I even wrote an entire screenplay about it called, “Another Sappy Love Story”, about a 33 year-old woman named Cindy Heller who after becoming infatuated with fairy tales and romance movies decides to sue the most renowned producer of romance films, claiming that the unrealistic portrayal of love depicted in his films is the cause of all of her relationship failures.

It spoofed some of the most famous fairy tales and romance flicks of all time. And it was pretty effin’ funny if I do say so myself.

I wrote it when I was single following a string of really horrific dates. One guy may have even been certifiable. Anyway, it took me about a month to write. I wrote day and night. I barely slept. When it was finished I sent it a number of agencies and producers. I even walked to Rockefeller Center to personally hand deliver a copy to Lorne Michaels. I got as far as the mailroom.

About 2 months later I was at a bar having some drinks with friends, whining about how I’m never going to find love, when my cell phone rang. There was some interest in the script. I was asked to make some revisions and resubmit.

The very next night was my first date with my husband.

I never made the revisions. But I did end up with a renewed faith in fairy tales.

Mock ’em yes, but don’t deprive your kids from believing in fairy tales.

132 blog posts down – 233 left to go…