Coronasizing in Bizzaro World

Today marks 2 1/2 months since we were told to “shelter in place.”

I’m starting to wonder if this madness will ever end.

I decided to go out for another run jog walk stroll whatever.

This is my experience told in pictures.

Hello lamppost whatcha knowin?

I sometimes sing to inanimate objects. Sue me.

I guess the women are all at home cooking and cleaning.

 

Enough with the damn limitations!

 

Of course there isn’t.

 

How about the sun? Is that allowed to come out?

 

I’m starting to feel a little bit like Forrest Gump trying to find a seat on a school bus.

 

I’m guessing that sidewalks aren’t essential businesses?????

 

F8ck this shit! I’m making a left.

 

Jin!!!!!!! Are you down there?!?!?!?!?!?! Are you with Sun and Hurley?!?!?!?!?! 

Life on earth in 2020 is becoming way stranger than fiction.

Even the flowers are tired of being caged in. They are sprouting through their garden fencing.

I’ve decided that for now on I am going to be the flower and break through all cages.

I have also decided to finish my jog, Phoebe style.

Because, sometimes you just have to give into the lunacy.

#staysafehealthyandsane

Coronasizing – Frogger Style

Upon healing from a pulled muscle (thanks CBD), I went back to coronasizing.

Once again I took to the streets for a run. Well, actually it was more of a combination of a jog, walk, strut, sprinkled with a few Elaine style dance moves.

It was quite a challenging workout.

Not because of the lingering muscle strain, but because a newly released study had me frantically trying to avoid coming within 6 feet of other joggers.

I found myself constantly dodging joggers and looking for opportunities to cross busy roads. It can only best be described as a real-life game of Frogger.

This was one tough cross. I think I started at a level way too advanced for my Frogger skills.

So I pressed reset and went to level one.

Crap! No time to cross here at all. I snapped this picture while hiding in the bushes waiting for this guy to pass. I hope he didn’t see me taking his picture.

As always, my coronasizing became more interesting as my playlist and journey began to collide.

Here I am debating whether or not to cross right now.

I have to admit, I’m both excited and shocked by how thin my shadow looks.

And how tall! I’m like a freaken giant.

While I was admiring my shadow, this guy totally crept up behind me and then quickly surpassed me. In case the police are reading this, they should know he was totally within 6 feet of me.

Most notably, I don’t think I could have found a more perfect lyric.

There was more confusion at the end of the road. 

So I turned around and went home.

#staysafeandhealthy

 

Coronasizing Through Limitations

Today I woke up, did 60 Rocky-style sit-ups and planked for 1 minute and 30 seconds. Yesterday I planked for 1 minute and 20 seconds, so I am officially one day closer to beating the world planking record of 8 hours 15 minutes and 15 seconds. I’m still trying to figure out how someone can go 8 hours without a pretzel.

I decided to escape confinement and go for a run jog speed-walk stroll.

As been the recent routine, I recorded my day in pictures.

The day began with constant reminders of restrictions.

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And speed bumps.

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And roadblocks.

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And rules.

Since jogging with briefcases is clearly not allowed, I decided not to enter this neighborhood.

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I was confronted with things I didn’t have.

Like wings.

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And masks.

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And the freedom to simply go.

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I was even envious of those who were still able to go to work as if it were just an ordinary day in 2019.

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Looking down is the easiest way to feel grounded.

And small.

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So I looked up instead.

There is nothing like a flawless sky to awaken freedom.

And gratitude.

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I ended the day at happy hour.

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And got a head start of holiday festivities.

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#stayhealthyandsafe

Coronasizing – Where Signs and Lyrics Collide

Yesterday’s “coronasizing” was so uplifting that I decided to do it again.

To keep it fresh, I chose a different path and opted for another playlist – where new signs and lyrics had a chance to collide.

What began as a somber journey, ended full of inspiration.

At first, I felt as though I was running to stand still,

on a road that was eerily quiet at times.

Some signs – like these next two – gave me pause.

In part, because they are stark reminders of all of the children currently being robbed of their childhood.

And partly because they force me to confront how quickly mine are growing.

But then I realized that even when the world stops, life still blossoms…

And souls still shine.

And children are still filled with optimism.

Sometimes you need to dance just to hold on.

And sometimes all you need is a little faith.

#staysafeandhealthy

Coronasizing – Forrest Gump Style

This morning I woke up, I planked, I did 50 situps, and then checked my stress level.

I was shocked to find that I am far more stressed these days than I was when I was embroiled in a lengthy and life-consuming lawsuit.

So I decided to go for a run. But not just any run.

I decided to go for a liberating old skool Forrest Gump run.

I put on Jackson Browne.

And. I. just. started. running.

#WhenPlaylistsAndLifeCollide

I wore my Sagaponack hat in honor of the Hampton locals whose groceries are being raided by entitled stockpilers.

#staystrong

I found a lot of interesting items along the way.

Like vision.

#VisionOnAbeatenPath

And concern about my welfare.

#apparentlystressed

And even words of support!

#ITry

I tried to run under the speed limit.

34 MPH! #ifyousayso

….as well as obey other rules of the road.

I felt grateful for having choices.

#Thankful4Choices

I followed the signs and just kept on running.

Till I finally found my way back home.

#WillWePrevail

Even my shadow was proud.

It’s been a few weeks since my watch praised me.

#feelsgood

Till tomorrow.

#staysafeandhealthyeveryone

More Food Shopping During Coronageddon

I decided to brave Whole Foods again today – partly to do an updated inventory check, but mostly because I think it’s fascinating to observe the items that people hoard in times of crisis.

Fortunately, I came prepared.
Some people come prepared and styling.
While they may be good for the heart, who wants to be quarantined with bean eaters?
At least European Showers have not gone out of favor.
Looks like brownie ingredients are still on the shelves.
DO. NOT. RESTOCK. DESTROY. ALL. BUFFETS.
To plant or not to plant? I guess that the $100,000 question is what will come first: a vaccine or a carrot?

Food Shopping During Coronageddon

This morning I awoke to my husband informing me that people were reporting online that my frequented Whole Foods is being cleaned out.

Knowing that my eating habits are more unique than others, I wasn’t totally concerned that my “go to” items would be gone. Plus, I was just there yesterday.

Nonetheless, I decided to risk leaving my perfectly “socially distanced” cocoon to rush back over to assess the situation.

What I observed was purty, purty, purty interesting.

I decided to take pictures.

People are so desperate for paper towels and toilet paper that they would pay quadruple the price at Whole Foods.
People can’t live without pizza – well except 365 thin Crust Supreme. Apparently, people would rather starve to death in quarantine that eat that pizza.
People would rather eat than get drunk. I don’t know any of these people.
I never saw anyone fill up a Whole Foods cart before. She must think she’s in Cosco.